Wednesday, December 24, 2003


My walk with Him


When the Rubble hits the Road
I know you are close
I have to seek you
But when it's fair-weather and sunny?
What?
You seem so far away.......
i can't seem to tune my spirit
To your voice or presence


As a Christian
Life on earth, i know
Is not just about living for a cause

It's being filled every day and hour with Jesus
To hear and feel his heartbeat
To obey and worship at Your feet
To love you in return

But why, why do i allow events
Even friends
To draw me away

Tempt and entice me
Away from quality time with the lover of my soul?

Even when I'm attached or married
That should not be taking me away from you Lord.

It seems that even my own purpose in life,
Given by You, could take the place of You
...which is scary.

Friend and friends......
You come and go.
Some stay, some leave.
It's fine, really, by me.
It's all about free will, not obligation.

I'd rather you speak the truth straight brutally
Than have to lie to the world
Or backstab me.

Once bitten twice shy, the saying goes
I'm not gonna endure another mishap
From the same person
Or I'd be the fool

Yet we are to forgive
But will things ever be the same?
Only God and time will tell, definitely.

I only pray that i will not let my fear of having known you
Affect the courage to take a risk
In befriending someone

So cheers and greetings to friends
Who have stuck by
Who saw the potential in me
Who never gave up believing
The Lord grant you peace and grace in this road we travel.....
Called LIFE.

Saturday, December 13, 2003


MeTaMorPhoSis......Camp
(Campus Crusade)


Two songs struck me

Love unchanging, Overtaking my heart
Lost and found again....
.....I won't hide it
I won't hide it
Jesus I believe in You
And i would go
To the ends of the earth.....

Fires of Revival
I came to the gathering of the people of my God...
to Renew again my covenant with Him
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i learnt :

1)~~~ @ the Prayer Labyrinth and @Women's sharing~~~
I am not alone in this long walk on earth as a daughter and Ambassador of Christ. the struggles i face are perfectly normal and part of being human!!

2) ~~@ Prayer Labyrinth~~
You designed every part of me--there is too much love i can't comprehend woven into each piece of my inmost being by You. why should i fear what they think?

3)
The missions sermon again challenged my current 'mindset status' to be complacent and slack about going this yr....i seriously need to plan for the next trip, possibly under GEN12 II missions project next June...to where? i mean it's meaningless if i sang that song above and didn't mean a thing!!

4)
Pain is needed for the Oyster to produce a beautiful pearl. An oyster without a pearl is as good as being gobbled down.

5)
It was real funnily sweet the way God took care of my coming for this camp. from parent's permission to causing my project group to not be "ngeow" about me coming late and leaving early during project week.....was simply excellent. Thus i guess once again God showed up mightily in such a situation and intervened with OPEN DOORS.


With my assigned group i felt at home and could be totally myself. And also our group's deep sharing about Life partners at the stone seats near the fountain of the PGP hostel just this morning from 2-5am!!?? were we all mad or what?? hahahaha. it was an insightful time learning about our views --gals' and guys' points of view, like how we gals should just let the men, well, be men and take initiative. and guys should be challenged to grow in their faith in God. And keep PNSG (praying and seeking God) for direction in our LIFE before worrying about a mate. why? Bcos He will definitely take care of the matters of our hearts too.

Of course in top of all the silly games we played like UNO Stacko and Taboo, one of the more meaningful things we did as a group was go back to NTU hall 14 and share the gospel with peers, mostly foreign students. The gal, my age i shared with was a serious Garfield fan and born in a Buddhist home. She said she "kind of" believed in Jesus but was afraid to start actually committing herself to Jesus as her parents would get very angry. I'm be praying that she'll be convicted to follow You and You only soon.
The fiesta and all the morning devos were great too. Jac Tay's concert drove home the point that we need to place our security in God, not men or man (other people).

I guess Omega (final) night brought NTU crusaders and other crusaders together through the preparation of the decor of the hall, making wired butterflies.

But The Omega Nite itself was whoa.........to the 5-day's camp events.....amidst the niceness of the hall, the most mysterious and beautiful part of the theme was yet to be uncovered, lying right in the heart of everything...
After the ice-breaker and sermon the video on Bill Bright's life and ministry, the lights went off and we were told to pass around this tea-light flame. the song "Fires of Revival" impacted me almost at once. I felt again drawn to the cause He gave me for coming to NTU. Speaker challenged us on thinking about the sexual Promiscuity becoming increasingly rampant in Campuses in Singapore, the lack of fear of God.......or knowledge of His saving grace. People needed God in NTU!! So out flashed scenes of my interactions with Sem one classmates.....who weren't Christians.....the article about couples cohabiting on campus also flashed across my mind.

"God, may EVERY CHRISTIAN on campus be communicated to on Your heartbeat for salvation for these needy people!! We can't graduate from here without ever telling our friends!"
With this short but poignant prayer, i lifted the tealight with faith in God and charged through the mob, placing it gingerly on the Cross-shape in the middle of the hall already lighted up with numerous tealights. "BE THAT FIRE-SPARK in your school---set the message on fire as a body of Christ!" This message rang loud and clear.

I pray this FIREspark for the lost will linger with me, in me. And this purpose every day will be my challenge to go on.