Crap
ok that picture was on the last day of Crusade FOC camp 2 weeks ago. my face covered lah. Clara n Zhixian's grp........forgot the name!! their theme was SABO. its lame.
Har and check this lame extract from an NTU buddy's blog:
BGR Problem 2: When a girl goes on to study while the guy goes to NS, she gets to see and learn SO many new things! And when she just starts out to work, she'll learn even MORE new things! Could be good, could be bad things. But whatever it is, it widens her horizons. She learns, she grow, she mature. There's more perspectives.
Guys, on the other hand, lags. Generally, their mentality stopped at the level where they just go into NS. During the whole period, it was constant. For some, their mentality went haywire due to some problems or sudden surge of agitation. They got too obsessed with earning loads of money and the paper chase dunno what, etc, that they got so inferior, and funnily their ego shot skyhigh. They could no longer bear their gf being "better" than them in their sense.
For those who's metality remained constant, only continued growing after NS. For some it's even worse. Even after they finished NS, their mentality still remain CONSTANT!! Simply put, they are twenty over years old with only the EQ of a teenager. Sighzzz.....it's going to take a loooong time before their mentality paths can cross again.
12 Comments:
Hope you don't mind me commenting on that quote.
Men learn a lot from NS too, it's just that it's not the same as what the girls learn. We learn about character and reality, responsibility and focus. Yes, it's true that some guys cannot taeke it and go 'haywire', but most men mature at a great speed at this stage.
It could be percieved as a stagnation of mentality by the girls as the male mentality diverges from what the girls are used to or even thinking, creating a divide. The girls don't see the direction the men are moving, they only see that it's not the direction they themselves are heading, and feel that it is thus not moving.
Men start to think about the future, about needing to earn enough to support their wife and kids, about needing to focus on learning how to be a person that can be the head of a family.
Girls on the other hand begin to think that they know more acedmically and try to take control based on that assumption. But mentally, most girls are still stuck in fantasy, still thinking of dreams and possibilities and not rooted in reality, still thinking about Prince Charming and being swept off thier feet in a whirlwind romance.
Men have already left such thoughts behind with their toys when they put on 'Green'. Girls are still stuck on the 'Pink' of Barbie.
Men strive to provide for a stable environment and home and maybe that's why they seem to be lacking in EQ and they lose the boy-ishness of youth and focus on the future.
Women only reach this mental state in their 30s, when the nesting mentality take over. It's no wonder some men go for older women... I agree, "it's going to take a loooong time before their mentality paths can cross again." The men are patiently waiting for the girls to catch up.
Yes i agree on the point that you guys focus on being providers so thus it seems as though u all forget about EQ.
but the truth is IT'S NOT JUST YOU MALES who THINK of focusing on our stuff.
We Gals also think about our responsibilities n excelling in studies and jobs.
It's just that we ARE ABLE TO MULTI-TASK, which includes doing well in our jobs/studies AND taking care of OUR own EQ. Sure, it's not easy to take care of EQ ( as in relationships around us) and Studies/job at the same time.
but if guys learn to multitask and balance people/relationships and their tasks....then again, you wont be called guys if you were able to do that.
I think the phase when the guys are in NS, and the girls are advancing in their studies/careers is a period of time where both have some time apart to mature in their own ways, to prepare themselves to better complement each other. It’s the time where the guy learns how to take charge of his roles and responsibility as a man. It’s also the time where the girl learns how to be a source of support to the guy.
The issue is really not about who matures faster, or who has low EQ and doesn’t know how to improve it. Girls and guys are made to function differently, so there’s no point in trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It's about being patient with each other, about understanding that each is maturing in his/her own way. It’s about remembering that each has emotional needs that have to be met in different ways.
Well, so guys, remember that your gf wants to know that she’s still special to you. She wants to know that hearing her voice over the phone before “lights out” is what you look forward to from the first water parade of the day. That it is the thought of spending your Saturday and Sunday with her that makes you run faster to finish that darned SOC in time so that you won’t have a weekend confinement.
Girls, learn how to laugh along with the army jokes and stories that your bf shares with you. Look beyond the army lingo that punctuates his conversations with you and appreciate the boy who is learning how to become a man. Remember that he needs to know that you’re still proud of him, and that he’s still a gem in your eyes.
It really doesn’t take too much to sweep each other off their feet, ya? :)
- E_Y
Er....btw girls are no more STUCK in Fantasy once we SEE how much the army has changed you guys!
WHO ARE YOU E_Y??? PRETTY COOL INSIGHTS YOU have there.
To Jeffrey: women actually reach the nestling mentality by 20s, but they still have to learn HOW to take care of a family.
To a man, perhaps reaching financial stability is enough to start a family. But to a woman, it means more than that. She has to prepare herself for the commitment and ability to take care of one, which is why she might only want to settle down when she's older, like 'in their 30s'.
But the problem with guys are that they do not see these in the women's pt of view. They only see it as the women are being 'stuck in fantasy, still thinking of dreams and possibilities and not rooted in reality, still thinking about Prince Charming and being swept off thier feet in a whirlwind romance'.
Thats why girls say guys are 'lacking in EQ', and even more when they come out from NS.
A man doesn't exactaly aim only for financial stability when preparing himself for family life. He improves himself mentally, spiritually and emotionally by growing in character, faith and understanding.
After NS, men grow up (and yes, I do personally concede that most boys only grow up at this point) and mature greatly. If you feel that they are still lacking in EQ, it may be the person himself and not men in general.
Most women I know still party and spend lavishly on themselves even to the age of 30 or 40. They do not have savings or even care for their own parents, taking time everyday to go out with their friends or date for the fun of it. I believe that they feel that they will settle down ONLY when they find that perfect one and that the Perfect One will provide for all their needs so that they can live a tai-tai life.
Is it right for me to make that above statement about all the women I know just because of a few that do fit the bill? No. As as it is not right for you to make any sweeping statements about men's character. I'm sorry if I did, I will refrain from doing so.
I said what I said in the first post to provide for a counterpoint, not exactly to start an arguement. It may be because of what I do see that shapes my opinion.
I see girls work for the sake of only money, and the money is only for them to spend, not to save for a nest egg. I see girls never going home to eat, wanting only to be out with their friends everyday, depsite their parents protests. I see girls taking advantage of the guys around them, palying with them. I do not see many with the notion of settling down, of preparing herself for the burden of supporting a family along with her husband. Or is it that they feel that the Man should do everything?
I know there are some that do prepare themselves and will be good wives and partners in the future, just as I'm sure you must conded that there are men that do not fit your description of EQ-less boys. I, after much thinking, feel that in the end it is not Men or Women in general, not NS, but personal conviction or lack of it that results in the shortfalls of both sexes as argued here.
You may not be like the girls that I have described in my first post, and if you feel offended by my post, apologise. But please consider my point at least.
Yo Kim,
[Btw, Lynn here. Not sure if I told you. I linked you, is tt ok?
Tried to post it on the tagboard, but both times, the comp i was using screwed on it. zzz.
Ah well.]
Wow, so many arguments over an extract...
I'll only say that the extract is more biased towards the girls' perspective, and that it has a very narrow-minded view of what the guys go through.
The problem then, isn't the guys or the girls. It's lack of understanding and openness, and the cause is selfishness. rather than understanding where each other's perspective is coming from, it usually ends up as "why can't they understand?"
Whoa wow, okie....hold it....let's put aside differences. And look at it from another angle.
Obviously Someone-Up-There (God) made both genders different. we won't be women if we think like men. and men won't be men if they think like women.
There wouldn't be marriage and procreation (you and i and everyone) if God wanted us to pick on one another's differences.......and see it as faults.
Both genders have their strengths n weaknesses and that's why we complement each other.
Let differences BE differences and leave it as that. Besides, sometimes we do love the differences (no matter how silly) that we see in the other gender too, don't we? we can chuckle it off as 'merely parts of the cross-stitch' God has planned.
Kim! Well said! ^_^
You speak my thoughts man, Kim. No matter how we change, there will still be differences. At the end of the day, we must remember that every single person is God's child. There is no point in comparing who is better or who has grown. Just remember one word 'Love'. Learn how to love and aceept people just as the way our Father in heaven has accepted and loved us.
It would be interesting to make some agreement with God in a dream and then awake to find yourself in a male/female body.
But of course God would've already made sure that censored thoughts are not possible to make.
All for the sake of gender issue education! Wheee.
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